Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize
