TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
