At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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