I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
