Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
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