you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
