is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
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