Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
