I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
