I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
