is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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