Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
two words: eviction party
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
