About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Randomize
