No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
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