is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
