..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
