Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
