I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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