i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
