He is an equal opportunity slut.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
