using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
