You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I won't apologize to a one balled man
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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