found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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