cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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