You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
