This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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