Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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