just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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