before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
it's like iHOP with fire
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Randomize
