Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
