Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
