had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
