"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
