Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
