For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
