Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
