the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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