There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
