I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
