Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
