My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
It was a blind-side dick pic.
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