it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
