I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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