bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
