My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
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