i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
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