Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
This is my gift to your gina
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
