it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
