And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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