Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
