he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Randomize
