this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
It's shark week go big or go home
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
