At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
