I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
