is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
you win again, gameday.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
