My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
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