Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
